The after-Christmas flight was going to be full. Shortly after I had sat down and fastened my seatbelt, a young man and woman paused beside my seat, waiting for the line of passengers ahead of them to proceed down the aisle. Evidently they had met in the pre-boarding lounge. The woman looked to be in her early twenties, and the man was perhaps closer to thirty. He was doing the majority of the talking. In the ninety seconds or so before they moved on, the young man probably said the word “like” a dozen or more times. He seemed to insert it, like, every few words.
We gain an impression of someone in the first few seconds of meeting them. Our mind immediately puts the person in a category and forms a long-lasting perception of who and what they are. In the first few seconds! Our behaviour towards others is strongly influenced by our perception of them, by the category our mind has put them in. If we perceive a person in a positive light, we will be open and receptive toward them – the opposite if our perception is negative. Nothing brands a person, placing them in a mental category, faster than their use of language.
We move in different circles in human society. In some circles a casual approach to speech is expected, and a person speaking grammatically correct English might not fit in. My young man, however, was traveling in business class, and English was clearly his mother tongue. He was neither an immigrant nor an unskilled labourer. For all I know, he might be a wealthy entrepreneur with a university degree!
Quite apart from what the reality might have been, my perception of the talkative young man was that he was immature, uneducated and not very intelligent. My mind made an admittedly unfair evaluation based entirely on the fact that a man of nearly thirty was speaking in a manner I might have expected from a teenager, one whose parents hadn’t known enough or taken the trouble to guide their child to speak with correct English grammar.
There’s nothing wrong with the word “like”. It’s a preposition. In broad terms that means it is positioned after one word and before (pre) another word to show a relationship between two things or ideas. The dictionary defines “like” as being “similar to”, or “having the same, or almost the same, qualities and characteristics as” something else. The weather outside, for example, can feel like a sauna, because it feels similar to a sauna. But it can’t be, like, really hot. Used that way, the word is incorrect and meaningless. Either the weather is or isn’t hot; it’s not similar to hot. Yes, I may be ranting, but I’m ranting because it matters.
Young people in high school, college and university move in a circle of society composed of their peers. It’s a culture all their own. Certain styles of speech are expected if one wishes to fit in with certain groups of that culture. Incorrect and repetitive use of the word “like” is accepted language in a large number of young cultural circles. A problem arises, however, when these young people graduate and begin looking for positions in the adult world, where more grammatically correct speech is expected. There’s a clash of language cultures.
Leaders in business, government and the professions agree that one of the most important factors in success and career advancement – if not the most important factor – is the ability to communicate effectively. Speaking is a major element in communication. Appropriate use of language is important, because it affects how we are perceived and received in certain circles. Ah, but the way we speak is largely a matter of habit. You can’t change your language patterns overnight. It takes time and intentional work. The man on the aircraft, no longer a youth, was stuck in a youth-oriented language culture. Young people who successfully negotiate the cultural language shift into the adult world will stand out above the crowd. Who among them dares to differ from their peers, dares to have enough interest in their future to develop good speech habits today?
