Keep Learning

People who’ve taken private lessons in any field have a significant advantage. In order to survive the constant correction, they must learn to separate their performance from their sense of personal worth.

Take music lessons, for example. The process goes like this: the student works on a piece of music, practicing it at home, and performs it for the teacher at the weekly lesson. The teacher listens with a sharp ear for technique and expression, praises progress (presumably) and makes suggestions for improvement. The student never expects to hear, “That’s perfect! There’s not a thing you could do to improve it.” At least, not until it’s performance-ready, and even then… (In fact, I did have a teacher like that in my first year of university. After singing my songs for him, he simply said, “That’s lovely, dear.” I was so frustrated, I switched universities!) The successful student knows that the process of perfecting a piece of music, and the coaching that goes along with it, is simply about skill level, not about who he or she is as a person.

Some years ago, a man came to me for piano lessons. He already played by ear, but wanted (he said) to learn to read written music. From the outset I could see he felt personally threatened every time I pointed out a mistake in reading (and, believe me, I’m gentle!) Needless to say, he didn’t take lessons for very long.

I’ll bet all but the most secure of us feel uneasy, at least initially, at revealing our lack of expertise. I chuckle at how many years it took me to stop sighing with relief if my Tai Chi teacher walked past me in class and didn’t find something to correct. Yet if we confuse our skill level with our self worth, we can’t learn and grow.

Think of all the fields in which people work with coaches – every sport, every art. Anyone who seeks to improve their performance in anything needs an outside pair of eyes and ears, simply because we don’t see and hear ourselves as others do. A person’s skill level has nothing to do with their quality as a person.  Besides, recognizing that someone else can offer constructive input is a sign of strength, not weakness.

I’ve been performing all my life and I’ve developed considerable skill at being in front of an audience. (Plus, I love it!) Yet I constantly read books and blogs and watch videos by other public speakers. There is always something I can learn from them. Even if you have reached a comfort level with public speaking, don’t stop there. Keep learning; keep growing. Be the best you can be. Read a book, take a course, work with a coach. Knowing there’s more to learn isn’t a sign that you’re broken. It’s a sign that you’re smart.

There is a wealth of fine information on the internet. Here are a few of my favourite public speaking blogs:

Speak Schmeak by Lisa Braithwaite

Talk About Speaking by Cordelia Ditton

The Eloquent Woman by Denise Graveline

Professionally Speaking by Kathy Reiffenstein

Happy learning, happy talking!