Taming Your Butterflies

Waiting is the worst! If you’re like me, the hardest part of a speaking event is the time before it begins. Your desire to do a good job is strong; your adrenaline is building up, but as yet you have no outlet for the nervous energy it creates. Once you have begun to speak, you are fully engaged, and your adrenaline is being put to use. But until that time, your butterflies can feel like a flock of pterodactyls in your stomach!

Butterflies are a good thing. They give us a sharper edge, an extra boost of energy to take us beyond our day-to-day level of expression. A speaker needs that extra energy to bridge the gap between the stage and the audience, to reach out and make a connection. She needs to be larger than life. Butterflies help to make that happen, but only if they are “flying in formation”. If the adrenaline build-up in your system goes beyond a certain point, the harmless fight-or-flight mechanism devolves into “freeze”.

We need to keep adrenaline at a manageable level. Of course, while preparing your presentation, you’ve been practicing your mental and emotional perspective, haven’t you? You have been using positive self-talk to love yourself, love your audience and focus on giving, not on the outcome.

Here are a few physical strategies that I have found to be helpful during that waiting period before you speak.

Breathe deeply. Since adrenaline speeds up the body’s metabolic rate – the rate at which glucose is burned to create heat and energy – you need more oxygen to support that increased metabolism. Keep an erect posture and breathe from your diaphragm, not just the top of your chest.

Try shaking your body all over to release muscle tension and then imagine that you are breathing in through the soles of your feet. Breathe the air all the way up your legs to the top of your lungs, and then breathe it back down and out through the soles of your feet. This technique does two things: it will make you fill your lungs more deeply, giving you more oxygen, and the concentration it takes to imagine breathing this way will distract you from obsessing over the speech to come.

Research is increasingly showing the beneficial effects of positive emotion on stress levels. Breathe deeply while holding in your mind thoughts that make you feel happy, appreciative or loving. You will probably find that combining positive emotion with deep breathing will be calming and soothing. Calming your body has a calming effect on your mind.

Yawn. Yes, I’m serious! Andrew Newburg, M.D., director of University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Spirituality and the Mind, says in his essay from the book, HOW GOD CHANGES YOUR BRAIN, that yawning very quickly relaxes you and brings you into a state of heightened alertness. “In fact,” he says, “it’s hard to find another activity that positively influences so many functions of the brain.” He advises us to yawn “whenever you feel anger, anxiety, or stress. Yawn before giving an important talk, yawn before you take a test, and yawn while you meditate or pray because it will intensify your spiritual experience.” All you have to do to bring on a yawn is to fake it a few times. Even thinking about yawning can bring one on. I’m yawning while I’m typing this!

Relax tense muscles. The challenge, during a build-up of nervous energy, is to stay relaxed. If you notice that increasing adrenaline is causing tension, draw your attention inward. You may be experiencing a tense jaw, clenched belly, shallow breathing, and so on. When you locate the tension, think about relaxing that area. Continuing to breathe deeply, imagine breathing relaxation into your jaw or stomach, wherever you are feeling tense.

Gently exercise. Because adrenaline is causing increased blood flow to your large muscles, it helps during the waiting period to move those muscles. Your body is screaming at you, “DO SOMETHING!” but of course, you can’t. All you can do is wait. Since the largest muscles in the body are the gluteus muscles (the ones in your rear end that enable your legs to move), quietly walking back and forth will use up excess energy. Maybe that’s why some people instinctively pace when they are nervous.

If your situation does not allow walking around, you can tense and relax muscles. There are numerous muscles you can exercise right out in public without anyone knowing what you are doing. One at a time, try tensing your tummy, butt, thighs, calves or toes. Tense; hold for a few seconds; release. While sitting on your chair, put your hands under the seat of the chair and try to lift it off the ground. That should use up some of that excess energy!

Don’t try to get rid of your butterflies. Just manage their effect so they can help you fly.